Background Photo: amʌnda adam, klausfish
If you keep this up I will leave. I have spent my entire life feeling inadequate, and I can’t do that anymore. I will not be a second choice. Stop making me feel like it. I believe in myself, finally, and I am not letting that go for anyone. Not even you. I love you, but I will let go if you push me much more. I told you I would change, I would make you my world, so either stay or go. I am not doing this shit anymore.
For the first time in a while…
I want to fall asleep and never wake up. I want to die. I cant breathe. It is actually taking me strength not to go upstairs. Not to get up off this floor, but to stay here warm and alive.
Its so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That’s above and beyond everything else, and it’s not a mental complaint-it’s a physical thing, like it’s physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. They don’t come out smooth and in conjunction with your brain the way normal people’s words do; they come out in chunks as if from a crushed-ice dispenser; you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.
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| — | It’s Kinda a Funny Story |
